After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
