You can't motorboat a personality
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
