i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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