I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
