i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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