How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
