Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize