i already hear my dad disowning me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
As shirtless as possible
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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