Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize