i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize