Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
