So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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