In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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