i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
