i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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