So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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