take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
