We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Let's get the cat blown out
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
