So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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