and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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