its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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