I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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