i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
