Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
