Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Randomize
