im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
