Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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