I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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