My room smells like vodka and shame
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just googled if crying burns calories
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
