i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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