We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
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She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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