Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
