Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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