I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
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What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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