Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
