So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
