Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize