I accidentally burped into my bong.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
