I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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