sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
