But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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