3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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