it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
