When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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