Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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