Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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