ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
