eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
