I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
