We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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