Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
