Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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