I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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