I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
