I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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