1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
