how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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