I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
