Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
