Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
