woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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