THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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