I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
