A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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