still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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