just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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