I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
