There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
